Yes, I am an atheist

Woo! We’re gonna go crazy today. This is very stream of consciousnessy, try not to hate me too much.

So lately, I’ve been reading and seeing a lot of things online that have really been upsetting me. Now, this really means that I need to get out more and stop looking at peoples’ stupid posts on the internet, but I am upset regardless so I need to vent. Of course I could just write in a journal, but where’s the fun in that.

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Nothing like election season…

In just a couple short weeks the election for US President will be over. Now i’ve never been very political, but I will say that I have never been so appalled by the ugliness of people during an election season as I have over the past few months. The reason for my sudden desire to write about this disgust, as it’s been brewing for quite a while now, came from reading this quote…. Continue reading

I didn’t write this song

Lately I’ve been plagued by a strange feeling. I guess I can blame the whole, being unemployed for an extended period of time thing, but I just feel like I’m about 4 years old. I go into the kitchen and I don’t understand why it is I can reach the kitchen cabinets. It feels strange to be tall enough to do that…even though I still need a step stool to reach the top shelf but that’s beside the point. I don’t understand ho wit’s possible for me to be a 22 year old woman with a college degree. It feels like that was all a dream, and I’ve been living in this house for the past 22 years writing songs about Doctor Who and blogging.

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Sam Talks of the Dead: Chapter 3

Hey it’s time for Chapter 3 of The Walking Dead!!! Wooo! I was genuinely excited to read this chapter, as it is the first one that goes on past the TV show…and now that i’ve read it…i’m even more excited to watch the new episodes. I was worried that I would feel that reading the comics completely ruined the show for me, as I’ve spoken with other readers who aren’t pleased with the way the show is going. However I feel that both the TV show and the comics are a delightful look at the logistics of post-zombieapocalyptic survival and that similarly to Fight Club they compliment each other well. The dramatic elements of a TV show are somewhat different than those utilized in a comic book, and so the big differences in storytelling are, I feel, overall justified for a TV audience. Anyway, back to the comic!

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Sam talks of the Dead: Chapter 1

Thanks to the occasionally wonderful thing commonly known as unemployment, I have a lot of time on my hands. As such, I’ve decided to engage in new tv shows and comic book series. One series that fit the bill nicely was The Walking Dead. I’ve got 96 issues in 2 compendiums and I feel that this experience is epic enough to warrant blogs by chapter. In this first installment you get my thoughts on the first chapter! Yay? And of course this post, along with the next one will be rife with comparisons to the TV show. If you are not up to date with the TV show there are some SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! Without further ado…

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If you have something to say, say it to me now.

There are some nights when all you can do is stare…and wait. There are some nights, when reading a comic book simply isn’t good enough. When you’ve lost control of all semblance of focus and you begin to drift away. You float off in your mind to the future, to a time when what happens tonight doesn’t matter anymore because you’ll be back among friends. In that space you are free to say whatever you want, speak to anyone…not be afraid to say hello. Freedom…to just say whatever’s on your mind.

I think too many people take this ability for granted. There are people out there who have no one to share the little amusing seemingly inconsequential thoughts of their day with. It doesn’t have to be a lover, or a family member. Sometimes, most times in fact, I think this role falls to the friends. People who most times have vast stores of their own seemingly inconsequential thoughts to share as well. I cherish these people. On occasion, I think too many things to focus on one stream of consciousness and I need someone to talk to me and keep me grounded. It helps to share thoughts, to keep them in order. I used to feel like I had one of these people…a long time ago. That’s not to say that I don’t anymore, things are just different now. I go through entire days and barely talk to anyone. Instead I find myself engaging in much more…reclusive activities.

Some nights I can’t do anything but think. I just sit and wonder. All I want to know is how you’re doing, but I’m afraid that now just isn’t the time. No that’s a lie, what i’m really afraid of is that things have changed. I’m afraid that things have changed so much that you don’t want me anymore, that you’ve completely and totally moved on. That’s ok I suppose…it’s happened before…I’m sure I’ll get over that someday.

This is one of those nights. A time when just reading The Walking Dead, or writing in my blog, or watching some Doctor Who just isn’t enough to hold my attention. I suppose I’ll just call it an early Tuesday…and try again tomorrow.

And now it’s time for Sam cries everywhere, the part of the show where Sam cries.


So the good folks over at BBC released this little gem today called Doctor Who: P.S. it was a mostly animated short scene that was never filmed. It was written for the end of The Angels Take Manhattan and it concerned the events surrounding Amy and Rory informing Brian Williams of their fate. I saw stories talking about this last night…and I became concerned. The articles all said that it would tell us more about the Williams’ life after they got time locked in NY and about Brian. I was excited naturally, but worried about any potential inconsistencies there may have been in the scene. Well there weren’t…instead there was just…tears and crying…and tears.

Let me make this perfectly clear. I don’t cry about things…it takes a lot to get me upset. The only thing I have cried about in the past few months is Doctor Who. So i knew there would be feelings…but I wasn’t prepared for them. In no way shape or form was I prepared for these feelings. If you haven’t watched the video I would encourage you to do so because i’m about to ruin it for you if you haven’t.

So this man shows up at Amy and Rory’s house and Brian’s there…just watering the plants…like he said…someone has to water the plants. I just can’t handle how adorable Brian is as a human being, he’s is just remarkably loyal and just…wonderful really. Anyway…i’ll stop gushing. So Brian answers the door and this strange man invited himself in and gives Brian a letter…from him son…from like 60 years ago. So by now Amy and Rory are both dead and buried on NY. So maybe someday he’ll go and visit their graves… 😥 So then Brian reads the letter, and Rory tells his dad what happened to them. He tells him that he’ll never see him again, and that he misses his awkward hugs. Along with everything else about Brian. He goes on to tell him that he and Amy adopted a son, and that his adopted grandson is the man who delivered the letter. Brian goes to look the man he now knows to be his adopted grandson in the eyes, properly, for the first time. The last little piece of Amy and Rory that he’ll ever be able to see or touch again. He hugs this man, in his 60’s. His grandson is older than him…and he gives him an awkward hug.

For a lot of reasons this farewell for Brian is infinitely more upsetting than saying goodbye to Amy and Rory. The ending of Angels Take Manhattan will always be sad for that little girl sitting on her tan suitcase waiting to get whisked away by a magic man in a blue box. This ending is sad on such a deeper level though because of Brian. Anyone who watched an episode featuring Brian can understand how endearing he is. A man who just wanted to sit in orbit over his home planet and have tea when he learned he was in a time machine. A man who when told to stay put by the Doctor actually stayed put…for 4 days. A man who was so simple, but so overwhelming complicated just by being there. And this simple marvelous man now has to live with the fact that he sent his son and daughter-in-law away and now he might feel responsible for making them effectively dead to him and all of their family and friends.

Brian might have to be the one to tell everyone else, at least anyone who doesn’t know. Would he tell them the truth, or would he come up with a story? Why else couldn’t they be contacted? Why didn’t the Doctor tell him?…that bothers me. A whole week the Doctor kept him waiting…i’m sure he was in mourning for his friends, but he has a bloody time machine he could mourn for years and still go back the day after they left to tell Brian what happened. Brian might have to bury his own grandson.

When it comes to Doctor Who: P.S. I think I have decided this. It was beautiful, and I’m glad they released this information to us. Brian’s fate is ridiculously heartbreaking and I feel that he’s the real victim in all of this. Everyone has suffered no doubt, and Rory will miss his father as much as Brian will miss him. We know nothing about Brian’s life outside of his relationship with his son however…we don’t even know if his wife is still alive…i don’t think. He could be completely alone now. I feel for the Doctor too, I always will, but this time I think he should’ve known better. I don’t think i’ve ever stop feeling that way, he knows how dangerous he is to people and he keeps endangering them. I don’t want him to be alone, I could never want that. He just needs to figure out how to keep his friends safe…somehow.