Today I took my GRE. For those of you who don’t know what that is it’s basically the SAT but for Grad School. It could’ve gone better, but all things considered I think I did ok. Maybe even ok enough for someone to want to accept me to their neuroscience program. I’m hoping that everything I’ve heard about the GRE being more of a formality than anything else is true…I mean my GPA is stellar, I’ll have lots of research experience by the time I graduate. I should have plenty of faculty members both at my school and outside my school who are willing to vouch for me. All that has to count for something right? It’s not like I completely failed, I don’t mean to make it sound like I totally bombed the test. I think I did quite well on the verbal section and the essays…but the math didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I haven’t had that kind of math since my junior year of high school…it just didn’t come back to me as quickly as I would’ve liked. Math was never my strong suite though. All in all I’m happy, I just might have to take the test over again after it changes. I’m still not totally sure how I feel about that.
I had my scores sent out to 4 schools right away and even though I’m not exactly proud of my math performance I hope that maybe someone emails me back asking what they’re for perhaps. It’s a bit scary beginning the process of applying to schools again. I didn’t enjoy the process 4 years ago and I highly doubt that I’ll enjoy it now…anyway.
I feel as though my mental capacity of late has been severely stretched. Maybe is just all the fretting and stressing over the GRE, but I really don’t feel like myself. The idea of doing work seems like such a chore anymore. I know it’s summer and I’m not supposed to be doing work necessarily. Maybe I’ve just discovered that the mind (more specifically MY mind) really does need a good rest for a while…too bad I’ve only got three days. Perhaps I’ve just been belittling myself unnecessarily.
I’m really excited to start doing work at Carnegie Mellon. It’s a great place for me to begin to make a name for myself as a researcher and to really start to figure out what I want to do with my life. It’s a huge step, and I’m soooo proud of myself for getting accepted into this program. I just hope that I don’t let them all down. I hope that I live up to whatever potential they saw in my application.
It’s hard to believe that I’ve been home for almost a month already and now it’s time to leave again. I hate the packing process, and the innate fear of the unknown that I can never seem to shake off. Almost one quarter of the summer is over already, I’m only 3 months away from seeing my friends again. I think the most all consuming thought that pervades my consciousness on a daily basis is just how much I miss them. We all need this time apart though, otherwise we’d all get sick of hearing the same stories over and over.